Not this time.

There’s temptation to spend money around every corner and, surprisingly, it’s not the big stuff that’s hard to resist.  Nine times out of ten I’m fine packing my lunch and eating dinner at home.  It’s the little stuff that’s left me cursing my self-imposed ban on spending.  Lattes from Starbucks.  New shampoo or moisturizer now that I’m down the last of my supply.  The new She & Him CD.  A glossy fashion magazine to read on a lazy Sunday.

And that’s the good stuff!  There’s also the stress of trying to figure out how to fit the cost of healthy food AND laundry detergent into what’s already a tight budget, or struggling to find polite ways to constantly decline invites out to dinner or drinks or shopping trips.

This Lenten goal? It is stressing me out, man.  But even when I feel like quitting or cheating — I could order a pizza for dinner and no one would ever know! – I try to remind myself that this is all temporary, that it will all be over and done in a few more weeks and I’ve just got to stick it out until then.  And aren’t I lucky that this ban on spending is self-imposed?  That I don’t actually have to live like this every single day just to make ends meet?  Forget stuff; that’s something to be grateful for.

Since the weather was so warm and sunny this past weekend I couldn’t resist getting some sunflowers and irises.  Since I needed a big tall vase and didn’t have one I substituted with my martini pitcher. (Yes, I have a martini pitcher.  Because sometimes I like to walk around my house pretending I’m actually on the set of Mad Men.)

Irises always remind me of home.  My grandmother had clumps of irises in her garden when I was little and when we moved into our first house she gave my mom some bulbs.   They were planted along the walk to the front door and I passed by them every day on my way to and from school.  When my parents moved to a different house in 2001 my mom transplanted every single bulb to the new (much bigger) garden.  And if I had the space here you can bet your butt I would steal some bulbs for myself.  But until I’ve got room for a garden I’m happy to make space on the mantle.

• New jewelry to cute up the outfit I’m wearing to my grandma’s 75th birthday party this weekend
• Supplies for two accent walls I’ve decided I want to paint at the house.  I’m thinking chocolate brown for the bedroom and cobalt blue for the living room.
• A painter, to paint the accent walls because dude, there’s no way I’m tackling a 12-foot wall with decorative white moldings.
• Since I’m redecorating the living room let’s toss in this couch from Crate & Barrel that I’ve been coveting for months

• Sushi! For the love of God! SUSHI
• A facial (I even have a 50% off coupon!)
• New running shoes, since mine are shot to hell (I worked a pair of $10 inserts into this week’s grocery budget so I can stretch them ’til Easter)

And, just to keep things in perspective…

Things I Have That I Am, Apparently, Completely Ungrateful For:

• Food
• Shelter
• A job
• Friends and family who love me

What was it like being on Adipex? Would you consider it again? What would you recommend/advise to someone considering Adipex?  Also, have you ever tried an over-the-counter weight loss pill? Why or why not? – Stef from Take A Load off, Fannie

(Remember that I’m not a doctor or medical professional and can only tell you what I experienced.)  I liked Adipex, but I was on it for three months and was closely monitored by my family physician.  The first day I felt a little amped up, like I’d had one too many shots of espresso, but that passed by lunchtime.  My advice to someone who was considering giving Adipex a shot would be to talk to your doctor to see if it’s a good option for you.  There can be some serious side effects so it’s not for everyone.  And it’s not a cure-all.  I worked my butt off to eat healthy food and hit the gym when I was taking it. I just wasn’t as hungry.

As for other diet pills I’ve never tried them and never plan to.  Why?  They scare the hell out of me.

What is your favorite item of clothing? – Rachel from Internal Sweetness

JEANS!  Ohmygod, I love jeans.  I love them!  You can dress them up, you can dress them down.  You can wear them to dig in the dirt and you can wear them out to the bar (although you probably shouldn’t wear the same pair).

What do you do to manage stress? How do resist the urge for temptation during lent? – Jessica from Jessica’s Quest for Health & Personal Wealth

Is it terrible that my initial reaction was to say I manage stress by eating?  (It’s at least some insight into how my brain works, right?)  My favorite way to handle stress is to sleep.  Low-level stress — your basic I had a crap day at work etc. — I blow that off with a workout or a trip to bitch and moan over sushi with my friends.  If I’m really stressed I tend to lay low at home, taking lots of hot showers and naps.  And if shit really hits the fan? I drive home to see my parents.  Seriously.  Sometimes you need your mom and/or dad.

And resisting temptation during Lent?  I pick something big and then try to convince myself I don’t have any options.  It’s something that has to be done.  I had to workout every day last time.  It wasn’t an option.  This year I’m only paying cash for my groceries and I told everyone I know that I’m not spending any money.  Accountability.  It’s a bitch, but it works.

Goals: you met last years, amazingly! What do you want to do with this year, five years, ten years? Do you want kids? How do you feel about singleness? What is your normal ‘routine’? – Katrina

So many questions!  I love it!  My goal for this year is to finish getting settled into a routine.  I’m a creature of habit and even though I’ve been back in Cincinnati for nearly a year (how did THAT happen?!) and in my house for four months, I still don’t feel quite settled in.  But I will in time.  I haven’t thought about five or ten years out.  I’d love to have all of my student loans paid off though.

I don’t know if I want kids.  I love being an auntie to all of my friends’ babies, but I’ve never felt that maternal tug on the ole’ ovaries.  But maybe I will someday.  As for my singleness, nine times out of ten I don’t think about it.  I’m generally happy with my life, with or without a boyfriend, but I like boys and if the right one comes along I’ll be happy to let him buy me a drink.

My normal routine? It’s pretty boring.  Wake up, go to work, hit the gym, take a shower, hang out at home and go to bed.  Told you it was boring.

Are you loving your new condo loft & do you have any more decorating and that sort of getting settled stuff to do?  And what is the first thing you are going to buy yourself after Lent? – Petunia-pie from twitter.com/tweetiepie

It’s sick how much I love my loft.  Sick!  I’m mostly done with the decorating, or at least the decorating I can do now.  I’m in the phase now where I’m on the hunt for stuff to hang on the walls and the last little bits to dress the place up.  It could very well take years for me to hunt that stuff down, and I’m okay with that.

The first thing I’m going to buy myself after Lent?  A ridiculously huge plate of sushi.  And then maybe the flatware I want from Crate & Barrel.

I just love your style – have you any career aspirations to move into something creative?  Can I ask another one?  Do you really manage to keep up with your enormous blogroll?? – jkapp

I would love to eventually incorporate more creative aspects into my life, either professionally or just as a hobby.  For now I’m content to treasure hunt for my house and play stylist to my friends and family.

As for the blogroll, I have two words for you: Google Reader.  And since there’s not enough time to write a comment on every single blog I read, I lurk.  I lurk big time.

What type of music do you like best? Any favorite bands? -All Women Stalker

I’m not picky about music.  I like rock and folk and punk and hip hop and bluegrass.  I like songs that make me want to shake my goods.  I also like songs that facilitate singing in the car.  My favorite bands are Over The Rhine, Journey, Iron & Wine, Ben Folds and Beyonce.

How do you balance everything in your life and still blog?  I’m in graduate school right now, and between school, the blogs I read, my husband, my friends & family, and “me” time I’m finding it harder and harder to get everything done. -Rachel

I enjoy the writing process and reading all of your comments, so I make blogging one of my top priorities.  Being a writer is a key part of my personal identity, so I set aside time to write just like I set aside time to workout, plan my meals, or call my family.  My writing time is part of my “me” time, so that makes blogging a little easier.  And if I’m running around and think of something I want to blog about I write it down.  That’s key! Write it down.  The best blogging inspiration comes at the oddest times.

Thanks for asking questions, guys!  Come back next Friday and we’ll resume our normal Q&A routine.

My greatest strength is my willingness to keep trying.  I tend to yo-yo with my weight loss, but I always manage to convince myself to give it another shot and I think that’s really important.  It’s easy to quit.  It’s not always easy to assess a situation and say Wow, I totally effed that up but I’m going to give it another go. My greatest obstacle is that once I start to see results I give myself permission to stop paying attention and lose focus (thus the yo-yo).  Making a healthy diet and consistent exercise a top priority all the time is still difficult for me.

If you could eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? – Amanda from Food Exercise Express

If we’re talking about relatively healthy foods it would either be sushi or fajitas.  I’m crazy about both.  If we’re talking about not-so-healthy food I would pick Kraft macaroni and cheese (you know, the kind with the powdered yellow “cheese”) or some variety of Death by Chocolate ice cream.

What’s your favorite workout routine? The one you do when you have hours to yourself and all the energy and motivation in the world! – Miss A

I really do love a good Spin class, but I don’t think I could do it for hours on end.  Forty-five minutes of Spin kicks my ass, but I think that’s what I love about it.  The sweat pouring off you and feeling like you might actually die if you have to do one more climb?  It’s torture, but it feels awesome when you’re done. (Note to self: Buy a Spin bike for the house.)

If you were given a $1000 visa gift card (a la “what not to wear”) what three clothing/shoe/accessory stores would you go to? JUST THREE and only one can be a department store. and would you save it until you were happier with your size or use it right away? – Becklette from How The Beck…

I wouldn’t save it.  I’m not a big fan of putting things off until I’m thin because, well, I haven’t been thin since I was about eight years old.  And waiting to spend it somehow translates in my head to the idea that I’m not worth $1000 now, which frankly is bullshit because I’m awesome.  So I would SPEND!  The stores?  This is tough but I’m pretty sure I would do 1) Old Navy for basics like pants, tops, etc. 2) DSW for shoes, shoes and more shoes and 3) Etsy for awesome earrings, necklaces, headbands, scarves and pins to dress everything up.  You’re probably thinking that Etsy shouldn’t count because it’s a bunch of sellers in one place but since it all goes through Pay-Pal I think it should count as one place.

What would it take to turn the Fat Bridesmaid into a bride? What do you want in a future [and absolutely ideal] hubs? (By the way-Just started reading and absolutely love love love. You rock.) -Mellie from The Unemployed Biddy’s Chronicles

I talked about my ideal guy in this post a few years ago and here’s what I had to say then:

My Mr. Right is a good guy.  He’s smart and a little geeky, with an all-American appearance (short hair, genuine smile).  He is not a metrosexual or a whimp.  He is funny and honest and wants to make a difference in the world, even if it’s just in a small way.  He is not a cat person, he likes to sleep in, and is content to spend a Saturday night hanging out in our living room.  He is not selfish unless he has a really good reason.  He is a good kisser, he respects my opinion (even if we don’t agree), and he likes to travel.

My mindset hasn’t shifted from that really.  I might add that he should generally enjoy his job but not be a workaholic.  And bonus points if he has an accent.

What do you do for a living? And if you could pick your dream job, what would it be? – Erin from Maybe, Sometime.

As a general rule I don’t talk about my job here, just to avoid any misrepresentation or opportunity to get myself dooced, but I will say that I work in the publishing field, specifically book publishing.  And I really love it.  My dream job, however, would be to be self-employed as a writer/freelancer/whatever.  I like the idea of setting my own hours and not having to adhere to any specific dress code.  But I suspect the reality of working on my own somehow wouldn’t live up to the idea in my head so I think I’ll stick with the job I’ve got.

What has been the proudest moment of your life so far?  Where has been your favorite place to travel within the U.S.?  What are some favorite non-weight loss blogs you read? – Teale from Teale’s Meals

I can’t really pinpoint my proudest moment, because it’s not something I ever really think about.  At first I thought about buying my house or graduating from college, but even though those were exciting for me I never felt a sense of pride about either one.  I don’t know; maybe my proudest moment hasn’t happened yet.  I kind of like that idea, like something bigger and more important is waiting for me down the road.

My favorite place to travel in the US is Chicago.  Lord how I love that city.  I wish I could pick up my loft and my job and move it all to Chicago.  I’m also a big fan of Disney World, silly as that may sound.  There are a lot of places I haven’t been in the US though that I suspect are pretty badass — Washington DC, Seattle, Asheville, Boston, Napa…

My favorite non-weight loss blogs?  I read Apartment Therapy and Mighty Goods religiously and love Amalah and All & Sundry.  I also get a big kick out of Knotty Yarn, Not Martha and Que Sera Sera.

Excellent questions, and more to come!  Check back later this week for Part 2.

I’m keeping these babies on the mantle in my bedroom, so I’ve got something cheery to see first thing in the morning.

At first I was going to justify the spending by saying it came out of my grocery money (which was under budget last week).  But I’m not going to make excuses.

The crazy thing is I felt horribly guilty about spending it, like I somehow let everyone down, including me.  Over five stinkin’ bucks.  Less than what I would normally spend on a Sunday morning in Starbucks. Even though I knew going into this that there would be times when I would end up spending I still I felt bad.

And therein lies one of my biggest shortcomings — thinking everything has to be all or nothing.  If not A, then B.  No middle ground.  Yes or no.  Black or white…. I kind of suck a moderation.  It’s a habit that I’ve tried to break time and time again and, clearly, I still need to work on it.  I had nine straight days of perfect no spending behavior under my belt before one tiny slip-up.  Nine wins and one loss.  That’s still a winning season.

So bring it on!  What do you want to know? Leave your question in the comments section, send me a tweet or an email and I’ll post the answers here.  Don’t forget to include a link to your blog (entering in the website field of the comments is fine) so I can give you a proper shout out.

I wasn’t sure what to write about so I pulled up an entry from this time last year and read this:

What I really want for my birthday is the same thing I want every other day.  I want a new job. I want my own place. I want to move back to Cincinnati and see my friends more than once a month.  I don’t want to feel stuck and isolated and trapped and frustrated.  And I could blow out birthday candles until I’m blue in the face but it’s not going to make that wish come true.  So I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing — slogging through my work day and browsing real estate listings online and saving my pennies so that maybe next year’s birthday will be a little better.

New job?  My own place? Back in Cincinnati and hanging out with my friends?  No more feeling stuck, isolated, trapped and frustrated?  Done.  DONE!  One year later and it’s embarrassing how ridiculously happy I am with my job, my house, my life.  So I’m not going to push my luck with another birthday wish this year.  I’m content to just ride the happy wave.

image via 1800flowers.com

Two lessons to be learned here: 1) Everyone likes to get flowers and 2) if you can’t afford a “wow” arrangement on your own, get your friends to help.